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Welcome to An Other Internet Newspaper

Behold the musings of a one-man news organization more interested in YouTube and fanfiction than the real world.

We have neither news nor paper!

Gato sits gracefully, Gato bathes with tongue, Gato thinks about chicken, Gato meows while being fat, Gato scratches the floor, Gato sleeps curled up.
Irrelevant images of Gato the cat.

About the author

We interview ourself for the rare ability to talk in the singular first person. Here's what we have to say:

"I'm discrete about my age, sex, and location due to being raised in the olden days when disclosing you were ten resulted in a barrage of replies warning you you were gonna die if you kept doing that. You could probably take a good guess though, if you cared to."

It's hard to talk

We could technically keep yapping here. Believe us, we wish there were enough words to fill out this main page! There's technically 12 of these bad boy divs we should be able to fill out to create a newspaper grid, but we simply don't have a lot to say.

This paper's a sham

The writer has not touched grass in a year now. Come read their personalized news stories. The most exciting part of their week, their struggles with weight loss, their favorite fanfiction. We write all about it.

There is news to be reported! Internet news of a personal variety. While we (singular) may be out of touch with the real world, we still keep up with the likes of Reddit and YouTube.

Current news:

An obsession with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has struck town after first watching Rise of the TMNT. A single casualty in the face of madness like no other. More next.

🐢🧡🐢💙🐢❤️🐢💜

Obsessions

There is, of course, the infamous Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This series has opened a rabbit hole, an abyss. We stared, dear readers. And the abyss stared back at us. Now there are about 40 or so extra tabs open in our browser to go crazy over at least three separate iterations of our favorite turtles.

Let's not discount the effect How To Train Your Dragon (HTTYD) has had on our life. Rise is a recent injury with heavy bleeding, but HTTYD is an old scar that likes to ache. We have every book in collection and the first movie memorized to the line.

Finally, our ugly cats. These critters are not much older than the Rise of the TMNT obsession, but the scratches they leave in our heart (and our body) are numerous!

Greatest Fanfiction

It is, in fact, very important to raise awareness for the greatest fanfiction to have ever existed:

He Says He Is An Experimental Theologian by ErinPtah on Archive of Our Own.

Join the parade celebrating this wonderful crossover between famous book trilogy His Dark Material and beloved podcast Welcome To Night Vale.

Gato playing with toy mouse
Gato

On weight loss journey

Keeping track of calories is hard. Especially when people like to bring you food.

Oh wow, the writer is complaining that people feed them? What a weirdo. Well, people should have really stopped feeding the writer when they were eight!

Right now, they're just trying to get to a healthy state so they may one day live out their dream of not breaking their back when they attempt a back flip.

Tracking calories

Hard. At some point, you just start avoiding food when you don't have a quick and easy nutrition guide to tell you what's in it. This means that, while the writer may be eating less calories, they are also eating less homecooked meals. A sad week indeed.

Even fast food keeps better track of calories than that lady your family likes to buy lunch from. On the bright side, cooking skills are continuously being acquired in the attempts to balance this out.